OH SANDY

What was the last thing you've done this year?
What I mean, the thing, you've done to make yourself a little more like into fun in its highest possible form.
Get it?

Like, you decided to be dead drunk and vomit all over the place...
or maybe, eating a bunch of curly tops like you ended up spending your 500 bucks!

Something that you wont forget at the last minute of the year. I don't literally mean you do the super last thing at 11:59 of December 31st. Are you nuts? ..or maybe, but something cool...way cooler than having free ice cream...

You see, I made my last-thing-i-would-do-this-year was spectacular..
December 30th, I spent 6 hours sitting, mocking (not really), laughing, smoking(i'm joking), drinking, singing, eating, laughing, drinking, laughing, drinking and drinking at Gastronomy bar with my friends. Even though we're now in college we can still hang out just like before, but this thing is more mature and exciting.

December 31st at around 2 in the morning. After having some drinking stuffs at the bar, we decided to go Mcdonald's. Some were craving for ice cream, spaghetti, coffee, burger and what the heck...fries.
Yeah, and bla bla bla bla...we headed home, but wait, that's not the end. We had a sleepover... in our house. To cut this short, I know you're bored. ME TOO. I understand you.

Around 3 pm, we went to La Paz San Dunes. Yeah. Courtesy of Euge Tan, we had the coolest, funniest, craziest, sandiest sand boarding evahhh.
But you see, the best part of the sand boarding is that when you are you are to reach the end, then you stumble, roll over, burdened and eat sand all over you(literally) ! I mean, you cannot feel thrill when you actually miss that. Right. Instead of wanting more...to have a slide on the sand, no... you want more to have some sand on your face, on your underwear and hell.. everything. Mess. Mess.

Enjoyed much. Well, that was an adventure. SPECTACULAR thing to end up my year.

I don't have photos. Camera/s were/was dead, left behind, died...errr.>,<


Hey, I am eating sand. Is this poverty?

Act. Think. Learn.

How long you've been here?
So, how's everything? Ever heard of the word "demure"? Sorry. I don't mock.
Well, let's make something nice. Try to open your coco shell before raging like a dragon.

See things in reverse when you feel it's negative. Okay, I mean make it positive.
Try to stop for a little bit and don't start concluding.
How long you've been here?

You better see my political science teacher or my philosophy teacher if you don't get it.
The mere fact that it is obvious... Okay, go ahead. Let the fire out! but, don't let anybody burn. It's scary.
or if you want to be in jail.. okay. so be it.
How long you've been here?

I won't make this one clear. Hey, put this in your head. You are confused about this. Good.
Well, you see. If you see some crap and you know its you... or something provocative about you or not you,
YOU ARE FREE TO evolve! Okay, be a dragon! GO! but think again, is it specifically you? or him? or her? or it?
NO? then do not make a mess... or do not make any barbaric child's play that makes you feel like holiness and whatsoever. If, I throw intentionally a bottle towards you, throw it back to me. But if I throw it beside you, near you... it doesn't directly mean it's for you? Wait...I am going to far.
How long you've been here?


Act your age.
Think twice.
Learn how to analyze.

Shinigami Mice

I OWN A DEATH NOTE.
I WILL WRITE YOUR NAME IF I WANT.
NO, NOT HEART ATTACK.






I WILL MAKE IT CLEAN AND PAINLESS AS POSSIBLE
REALLY, I WILL. DON'T MESS WITH THE SHINIGAMI.

Wht about a Shinigami?

Who doesn't know about the DEATH NOTE? If you don't you better browse the net.
I've seen tis when I was in third year High School.
There are 37 episodes. Manga. Original.
The first 3 episodes made me feel like i want more...
The first night I've watched Death note, i reached until episode 17. It was hell addictive.
I stayed up until 3 in the morning. Didn't think that I will have my long quiz in 5 hours.

Well, this thing made me in to anime.
I fell in love with Kira. with L.
Got obsessed in to Shinigami's.
Named myself as Misa.
Found my KIRA...who happened to be my super friend now.

Well.. this is nothing again.
Have a nice day.
And oh, watch death note. It's worth it.

It's a matter of thinking

I was trying to comprehend every word. I tried to rephrase it in my thoughts. I tried to write it on my paper. Still, I cannot get what the infidel in front tries to tell us. Why? Maybe I am focusing too much on his face? Or maybe the way he pronounce words? Or the jokes he tries to joke...?

They say, that's not the problem. Do just listen or just read between the lines.
You know what I am saying?
It's a simple thing. Understand. Absorb. Analyze. How? Think, pretend and act that you know the topic. I tell you, it will work. No matter how awful the pronunciation, the face or whatsoever... just think, that you know it, and listen. you'll understand it.

Try this. When I say, The last Horcrux is me. I am the eighth one. Some will laugh maybe, or some will be confused. Well, if you will pretend that you know this, you'll browse for it. Poof, you know what I am talking about you see? Right. I hope you're getting my point.

Now, my blogspot is crashed. I don't know why. They are making some awful changes. Arghh. And this will be the most decent-non-romantic-thing that will be post there. *laughs.

I had a dream, being so provocative to my teacher in my non so favorite subject.
Human rights. Preamble. Article bla-bla. Acts of bla-bla-bla. (I hope you have an idea now)
What again? I said, I don't own my T.V and I don't practice reading newspaper.
Internet? I only do Facebook, Blogging and Gmail. I don't care about typing the news site. Come what may. Got it? I have my book and I think it is enough as my source of learning your subject. Sorry. I am on the verge of typing your name but it will be too much of me...


Again, let's go back. If you think you cannot understand the whole thing... if you think this is nonsense.. if you think this is a crap... well, it's because YOU ARE THINKING THAT THIS IS IT.
try to reformat your brain. THINK, PRETEND, ACT and FEEL that this whole thing is amazing and worth reading. That you can understand every sentence that covered this page. Okay? Now try...

Vain

This is what I do.
I edit something. I get bored. I am not that good in editing and manipulating.

So this is something to do with what i feel today.
it's something mysterious...
inside me there's this enigma that i cannot foretell...
maybe someday i will know...

Breathless...

And the world wouldn't revolve without you around me..
even though I am transparent, it doesn't matter...
as long as you'll know how things work within my soul

There are more things to ponder

It's been awhile since I got here. I missed this place...well, there's no place like home they say.

I have only nine days to spend my vacation then boo-hoo, I'm gonna go back to the cold-dreary-so-far-away-from-home place and yeah, i am expecting homesickness this time. Well, gonna deal with it again.

Pretty odd of me today. Last vacations I had, I almost spent it all with my friends...now, I'm isolating myself inside the house. Awake in the evening until dawn and there, sleeping until I wake up.. is there something wrong? Maybe. Add the fact that I don't eat my meals since I got here. Seriously, like I wake up 12 noon then that's it. I go straight to the computer and do this things...until i cannot feel any hunger. >.< Well, i'm not hungry. My sister told me I'm good as a skeleton buried six feet below the soil. Am i? I don't think so. I feel fat...still.

Bored. So?

Okay, so I was bored. Merry Christmas anyways.
Here, after having our gifts and after filling our stomach with so many food, of course i opened my notebook and started blogging again.

i spent my time, browsing the internet. making some stuffs.
then, all of a sudden, i was thinking of him again. well... that's just normal. or beyond? haha

well, i got so bored and then an email was sent to me.
it was from tagged.com another thingy like facebook.
so, i opened my account on tagged... saw him again.
i got bored, so i searched his friend's list..
i found bunches of cute guys. haha. most of them are from germany and australia.
so, guess what i did... yeah, i added them up. all of the cute guys. hahaa
wew. lesseeee what will happen. I just wish they are not like him.

Ich Liebe Dich

Believe it or not, this is the 5th time i'll put this on text.
hoping it will not be spoiled...
i don't know why, yesterday was a freakshow. messed up on the connection.
there are so many html errors on my blog and bla bla bla.

lemme start again.

so, this time i love you with all my feelings that i really feel.
i don't know why, but there's something wrong about it.
remember, we were once lovers? but whether we like it or not,
it is one of our child plays. we are naive. we are naive...indeed.

do not interfere please. just read it. i don't care if you give a damn.

well you see, our closeness met it's vantage point.
we are in the stage of entering the straight line of fidelity.
and now, i am knowing you inch by inch and the stupid part is that,
i am falling for you.
it is just normal if i care for you, if i think of you...
but it is not normal, if every second, every minute, every breath i think of you and i never hesitate to look into your picture.
add the reality of having these gadgets wherein i can put your beautiful face in display.

seriously, i am worried. i think i need to have you.
i don't know. i wanna change you.
i wanna make you someone who deserves to be someone!

you see... i don't need to post this if it's not bothering me.
i hope you'll read this thing.
i hope you'll understand.
i hope...
i hope...


now, i am lost.

You'll realize it when its over

I know it's odd.
We've spent time together.
We've been in a mutual scenario.

You and me.
Me and you.
Well, you know what's funny?

I think I am regretting the fact that I broke up with you.
Since that day, your world turned so surreal.
You and me, friends like the powerpuff girls!
Seeing you with HIM is breaking my heart.
And to the fact that you melt me every time you come near me. I don't know.
Hm. For some reasons, I wish I can have you again...

Time and Space

I am the God of my soul. I am the captain of my destiny. I am the ruler of my will.

I will sail my own boat no matter how far or how dangerous my travel will be. I wouldn't ask for any help. I want to learn things from it.

I don't exactly know what is happening in this world. I don't have an idiot box. I don't practice buying newspapers. I am completely lost. But somehow, it's a good thing because without those, the negative thoughts are decreasing.

Tell me, in all of the news being broadcast everyday, what news dominates? The bad news. According to THE SECRET, bad news are always noticed because people are centered to those. Well, how I wish everybody could read that...

A Pensive Memento

Trapped within a fear that kept me alive,
An excruciating sequel of demented lie.
For the past miseries of the thousand tears,
I breathe slowly, endured pains and fears.

For a faithful soul share to you,
Little by little you blinded a hope you knew.
Rested one melody created with serenity
Though I know the truth, I've feign upon your entity.

In this misty world I stood ever so fragile
You came along, you never glance even just for a .
The heartstrings that never deceived yours,
All you've pledge are the song of false.

I lie awake with my heart punched,
Clenching the unfathomable lies and your trance.
Still you linger deep down to my soul
As if you never broke my genuine goal.

Having the guts

I do not know how to fly things. I am not aware if it is possible or impossible. For the fact that, why did someone invent the word magic if it doesn't really exist. Again, I can't think of any straight reason blogging about anything here.

I want to have something decent and general facts here.
I want to share something worth living for, worth reading for.

You see, I am not much of the technical type.
I am more of a powerpuff girl.
You know what I mean?

Let me tell you something, yesterday I found the reason why I never regret living here. :)



Because I WAS BORN TO BE THE BEST THAT I CAN BE.

It's not it after all

Probably I was just flattered or rather unconscious that it ended up being regretful again. It was flitting. I don't know. I can't feel a spark. Maybe it's just nothing. Deceiving.

Maybe I am just being random again. I dunno. I feel odd. It's like I am having multiple personality disorder. Hey, I am making a big contradiction here. haha. don't mind this. Yeah, it's nothing. I am not in love. I am just flattered. Oh well, thanks.

Take it from me

It's something about life and death. I'm rationalizing. I'm calculating. I'm concluding. I'm loosing hope. I'm loosing grip. I'm failing. I can feel the sorrow of the universe...or am I just being paranoid?

Thank God my sister borrowed a book. I read it. Yes, it's something magical, better then Harry Potter. It's all about life.

Now I know why I am feeling so miserable and loosing some of my sanity. It is because, I kept thinking of those negative thoughts that's making my whole life negative. Get it? I hope so.

Start today, as you will read this, No matter how hard, how crap, how bad, how ugly, how miserable, or how unholy your life is do not let it cover you! Think of the things you want to have, have happy thoughts. Say that you are rich and you are lucky and happy in your life! Run this in your life and it will happen.

Do not be afraid to try new things. Even if we commit mistakes it's okay. We learn from them. Lessen the undeniable fact of thinking so much of the negative thoughts, if those evade you. listen to the music that you like most, think of the person you love and there you'll be okay.


Take a risk. Have mistakes. except for those that will destroy you.

Tell Me Your Story

stormy days and dreary nights
you came form the heaven's fright.


lonely soul and painful touch
i reached above the excruciating match.


inevitable love and faithful vows
we conquered the wrath of the sinful howls.

Yule season. What is it to you?

Well, i looked at my dull calendar posted on my wall. Hell, it's December and talking about gifts here! I don't have money on my pocket. I mean I only have 300 pesos and I am suppose to give ten presents to ten people who are close to me. Never mind? or just take a break and sit for a while.

So, what do I do when sitting? Of course I sit and poof, it came to me the idea of creating my wish list.:D

1. Wand (like Harry Potter's wand) I want it.
2. Santa Hat. I want it.
3. Iphone. (I've waited since the first semester) I want it.



That's for now. This thing will be updated.

Are you a fool? Take your feet on the cliff then.

Keep your voice down if you don't want me to kill you instantly. I mean it. Why do people, even me, cannot quit on blogging so much things that are really unnecessary? Is it because of the ads income? Well, for me, I don't care anymore. I only blog now, with this stupid things because its the only way for me to keep my words certain and alive. Let's see....

Today, I am supposedly at the bathroom taking a shower. It's cold here. Really. But I ended up standing near the window taking a good signal to make this blog. Seriously dude.

Classes will resume tomorrow and what? I have quizzes. The worst is that political science is the first on the line. What I know about it? I keep on reading my books but still not a single word but the title itself is the only thing that has been calculated in my nutshell. Maybe, i'm that idiot or maybe i just don't like the subject. Oh well, so much for that.

Well, we were watching Harry Potter (again, for the millionth time) and dreaming about JK Rowling, writing sequels of the book. Oh God, how I wish. You see, I am a Harry Potter die-hard-fan, I mean, hey, do not spoil the spells because I almost knew it all. Wanna try?

Say, what's wrong with the people? They are assuming things. I'm really pissed off. Here's the thing, why ask a question when its not really sustained to be answered? Example, a guy to a girl. "May I court you?" hello. Is that even legal? When the girl says yes, what's the point of asking. Dude! Do not ask! Do it. Don't be such a douche bag. You're humiliating your ancestors. If you really want to, do it. Accept all the consequences. If you assumed again that you are being fooled or used or whatsoever then why did you waste your time? You entered that dilemma. It's not the girl's fault. It's yours. Why are you rejected? Because you've done no good. That's it end of the story, goodbye!

Wake up people.


Or am I talking too much about guys? Sorry. Get used to it. I'm a feminist. When? Just now. No more questions.



I keep on stressing my self, really. I always guarantee my self to be busy and maybe this is the consequence about it. Hating boys. Oh Good Heaven's forgive me about this. Oh well..


:)

Stop being so fabricated

I wonder how I manage to act like I'm always burning. I mean you see, I'm very good at pretending that I am mad well in fact I'm not. You see, there's a trouble again. It came into me that having a boyfriend is a bad idea.

Why? Let me enumerate:
1.) Time demanding. Boys are time freaks. They want you to focus your whole time upon them. As if the time will vanish.
2.) Too much protection. I mean, hello, I'm not a child anymore. I know what I am doing.
3.) So many prohibited stuffs. So what if I send messages to many people? I'm using my sense of socialization. Get it?
4.) Praising too much. Every single day, every minute. I mean its kinda irritating when the guy praises you the same thing everyday.
5.) "I love you" freak show. Hearing it everyday freaks me out. Hello! You're loosing the meaning of it. Just say it when you really do, and don't say it. Show it.
6.) Pity effect. When you get angry they curse themselves.
7.) They want you to do what they say. Are you my dad? My mom? Shut up.
8.) They want you to just go home after school. So what if you have to meet your friends?
9.) They will ask you between him and your friends.
10.) And the last in my list, they are unfair. You see guys are really centered upon themselves. All they want is intimacy and a fucking public display of affection.
Who wants it anyway? I don't want a boyfriend.


No offense. This is just my alter-ego's perspectives.
Of course there's only one positive thought about having a boyfriend. You have someone to be adored and you are being adored.



Again, this is bullshit.

If I am vain, let me elaborate more of it then

Let's talk about guys that I like.

I see hundreds of boys around me in a week. Majority of them are attractive but the thing is, they are not straight. Do you know what I mean? I feel devastated. Gays, bisexual what else?

Okay, so this is it. I'm attracted to a guy when:
1. He wears braces and he is super cute.
2. His eyelashes are long and curly.
3. He has a good sense of fashion.
4. His hair is stylish. (mohawk)
5. He is moreno.
6. He smiles like you never wanted to see the sun shine anymore.

I don't like a guy when:
1. He wears pierce anywhere in his body (Except for Gen, he looks better with it)
2. He doesn't know how to smile.
3. He walks like he owns the road.
4. He laughs like a cow.


You see, it's kinda weird of me to talk about guys, I mean, my interest about guys faded once, but I don't know why I am doing this. Oh well. It doesn't matter anyway...but wait, actually it really matters. Where's vanity? Haha! I mean it. Haha. :D


Well... what can I say...

State of Shock

I was sleeping. It was 5 in the afternoon and the ambiance was like 7 in the evening. It was cold and somehow the place we stayed was cozy enough to have some perfect relaxation.

Despite the limited space, we manage to sandwiched. We were three but you see, I was half awake that very moment when suddenly, he held my hand. I was dreaming for sure. Slowly, he clutched it as if he wont let go of it... i was still dreaming, I'm sure of it. The next thing is that, I tried to open my eyes, it was dark and cold. I can hardly see who's next to me...and then, a warm breath brushed my face... no i am not dreaming I know i am awake. I tried to feel my hand, and yeah, he was holding it. I smiled and closed my eyes. I don't know why I did that. Maybe I was crazy. The next thing was, he kissed me... I was shocked, I didn't think twice. I stood up and ran towards the bathroom.

My heart is pounding so hard. It was like a solid metal covered with so many kryptonite banged my head. I don't want to go back. I washed my faced. Brushed my teeth. Washed my face again and again. Now I'm dizzy.

I'm still thinking why I feel Okay around him. He's my best bud but i barely knew him. I'm suppose to get mad at him but no. I still enjoy his company...



Now, its time to wake up. Wake up.

It's you! not me!

Seeing your eyes.. I wonder why I feel so worried every time you aren't on my sight.
Well, it just suck now. I feel something special for you...though I know you want me too. I don't want to hover but yeah, I was honest to you. It's kindddaaa weird that I didn't used my so-famous-tomboy-line, maybe because I was stuck. You I can't hide in front of you. You are strong.

The one who makes me sizzle

Light Yagami, also known as KIRA of the deathnote. If you know what I mean. You see, I've watch the entire episode (the anime) for just three days and I only slept an hour each day. I dream of him every night. I love him to the fullest!

Possibilities

Don't ask me the questions that is obviously under pressure. It's not my fault why I am keeping a great distance from you. I don't want to linger beside you when I know that its not the right choice.Perhaps, it was never my intention entering such judgement.

In either way, I never wanted you or I never had any chance dreaming of having you. It's just that I just like you because I know you, I like you because you are flattering me in some circumstances.

Despite that undeniable, irreversible fact that became now a very memory, it happened to be everything went up so wrong. Everything is just a matter of mischief madness. Then, I realized it wasn't me. But it was you. With my two functioning eyes, I saw you in a trance that you are chained and locked in a vow. I don't want to interfere, I don't have the intention of interfering. I just want to say hello and then leave. Yet, as I turn my back to walk away from you...everything was perfectly foolish. You brought me in your imperious world.

Now, tell me. Why am I keeping my distance? It's because you and I are not meant to be. You and I are just making foolish discussions making fun of our naughty minds, letting some intimacy fall over despite the fact that it may really happen...you see, we are stupid. We're friends.


Get it?

It's the only reason why you I don't talk

Simple things I ponder upon... only ponder.
Though, its just a simple form of a thing. I do not intend to brag about it. I just want to have those for I know, it's something worth having because I, myself, with all my heart's desire, I exerted much effort aiming those...but what? I keep on hoping and looking forward, for the fact that you committed the most dangerous thing in the world.

On the second thought

Now I know why I don't bite.
Now I know why I preferred a life like this.
Now I know why I'm feel a weird sensation when somebody meant to praise me.



it's because, I am destined to someone I know , that is designed to be "just beyond my imagination."

I'm having adrenaline rush and I can't help it

I am freezing. It's cold. I can hardly feel my hands. I'm shaking exaggeratedly. Maybe, any minute now I will be off the ground. I'm dizzy and my head hurts. I feel like its the end of my life.

I don't know exactly what is happening around me. I feel like I don't belong here. I am not from the earth. I am from Mars. Why? I don't know what the heck is happening in this world, in this country and this entity of mine! I'm possessed. I am not me. I am burdened with so much disarrayed conviction.

I carried the whole life of the unknown.
I am not happy. But all I can do is to follow the words being bluffed. I'm under imperious curse...

I'm a vampire.
I don't want your blood.
I want your affection. I want you to be willing to join me being a vampire.
Now I am random.

This is shit.

Vanity. Love. Dream.

If there are tons of things I need to do, I'd do it in a click. This past few days, I noticed I've been acting so odd. I'm following the house rules and I'm keeping myself very busy. It kills me when I waste my time. I don't even care if I don't have cellphone, I don't even care if I don't have money, I don't even care if I'm still awake in dawn. I don't know...

Last time, I keep on praying, I keep on dreaming that someday, sooner and yes later...any minute, somebody will come near me, the one that is good enough to be adored. I met two different faces in a single day. They were both good looking and definitely gentlemen. They told me how wonderful I am to exist in this world. At the moment that I felt flattering sensation, that any girl would surely pass out when they hear those kind of words... i back fired. I stood idled few minutes thinking...
I really don't need it. Really.

Maybe, I'm still trapped. I keep on dreaming of the past. Instead, I'm feeling the prickling pain that makes me feel that I'm that stupid. You see, it was there. The new beginning was there right in front of me but look what I did. Rejected them and mouthed my famous line... SORRY, I'M A TOMBOY.


I don't want to run. I don't want to be hiding here forever. I don't want to grow with pain in my heart. I don't want to...I don't want to wait for the equinox.



Tell me what am I suppose to do. I am trashed with so much aches. I don't want to linger in this madness. I am too vain.

Breathless

Never I would see a little break unless something really bothers me. For some reasons, I want to get a life back. The life that I used to live where my eyes are glowing despite of the dark dull clouds in the sky. I want to think of a single thing in the every hour of my entire life.

Maybe I am just being mocked.
I want somebody beside me...

All I can do now is to dream of you

I know we can never be...we can never fall into each others arms and hold the world's agony. I owe you a lifetime of comprehending a single thought of adoring you for an unknown reason. I don't know. I don't know what to say.


Maybe it's the law of attraction that keeps me seeing you everywhere I go. My heart is screaming over-joyed seeing you, smiling over me and talking with your eyes alone. I always shiver...always.


We aren't really meant to be lovers, I say. For the second, for the record, I've seen you with my greatest nightmare... you, walking with my nemesis...

Now, it's clear to me, that you are chained with an unfathomable creation that I couldn't break. I'm no superhero that can ever save you from this madness of my entity. All I can do is to share you the happiness that covers me wholly.


You are close, so close to me that I can even seize you and never ever let go of my grip...yet still, I can't. There are fortified walls and excruciating thorns that I can comprehend when I try to hold you.


I cannot just hide forever, I cannot just be there and run once in a while. I really don't know. I'm holding my breathe. I'm gripping on a sharp knife. I want to surrender. I want to run away...without you. I don't want to see you anymore. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to be so deeply in love with you...but I can't. Everyday, I'm fighting the world. I am just loving you to the depth of my soul...



What now? All I can do now is to dream of you. I'm sorry.

when i know it's not me

You are more than you know who you are to me. The touch of your lips that lingered on my cheeks intertwine with my whole world. For a single second that you stay next to me, I'm hoping to stop the time and spend it with you until I can ever face the truth.



Just by your name alone, I can't conceal the smile on my lips. I shiver like you are behind me trying seize me with your arms forever. If only I could, I would never think twice.



Thinking, is it just me? or the both of us making this surreal? or perhaps things whole thing really exist if you and I will make it happen as if we never meant to hold the world...



Now I am positive. You're the only one that ponders in my heart. Everyday and every night until I close my eyes when I call it's a great day. You're the only reason why I wrote this, and I know...into the depth of the dark abyss you're the only one I want to share my laughter's and tears.



But you see, I am afraid.

I love you.

If I could linger forever

I never wanted anyone so bad.

I never thought of having you as if I could ever fly to the mountain top and reach the heaven. I shivered as the stars were falling over us. We never thought that we were synchronizing and feeling our heart beat so fast. As the cold water feel our skin, we laughed without knowing that we are too close to be two... and I wish it would never end.

POEMS...

Thing that i like,
stuff that i like...
poetry vs. prose...
i prefer poetry... why? don't ask me...

Jailed O’er Heartless Nocturne

In this misty world I’ve feigned my greatest longing

With your eyes shut I can’t bear my heart’s pounding.

Wishing you everyday with the calmness of the earth,

To hear my yearnings, of my faithful worth.

Fortified walls bounded in between you and me

As for a night when full moon towered dreary

All I can do is to gaze you in a reflection

And bury my ardor with my own deception.

I can hear your rhapsody through the cold air

From dawn till dusk of tomorrow’s nowhere.

To love you with my world jailed,

To dream of you with the nocturne I’ve failed.

When nothingness I breathe, as your eyes whisper,

I cannot show one love to you, not until I conquer;

A fear of vow as the whole world will be the witness,

As they forbid me to hold you with my nothingness.

On the walls, I’ve printed all my life with you

Rested everything I owed.

One night I prayed into the heaven’s star,

To let you play a symphony of nocturnal

Yet I’ve been feigning since we’ve parted,

Yet nothing changed to this feeling that waited.

Trapped within a fear that kept me breathless,

For you my heart’s desire dominates weakness.

For a faithful soul yet a feigning mind

A love for you will be stored until you find

To bury the fumble we committed before

To whisper you my heart’s ardor.

I long for you with your precious smile

I long for the days we meant to fly.

Now, forbidden shadows guarded upon us,

All I can do is to listen till the last,

Till you play the painful piece

Till I break the walls of excruciating bliss

Erased

Every day and every night your voice echoes

From the oceans, to the rivers, up to the meadows.

When the stars are blown by the wind,

And the clouds are trembling with the seed.

Every day and every night, your scent I can smell,

The sweetness of your every breath that I can tell

A way that I can picture you freely,

And a way that I can catch you slowly.

Every day and every night I fly with the birds

Watching and dreaming of you in different worlds.

Allowing my tears flow down on you

When my laughter’s aren’t enough to be true.

Every day and every night your name lingers,

In my mind and in my heart it whispers.

When the sun rises, your horizon tops the ocean

While my moon lets me seize my omen.

Every day and every night I let my tears fall

Drowning my heart little by little,

Wondering of you in so many ways,

Dreaming of you even in the midst of days.

Every day and every night I think of you

Still I can see you beside me out of the blue.

Trying to forget everything we knew.

How can I ever take another step?

If you’re still touching my heart’s depth.

Think of me

Think of me like your heart’s longing

For my voice’s you’re endless loving

With your eyes locked with mine.

Think of me like a shooting star,

Throw a wish before it’ll go far

Close your eyes and be where you are.

Think of me like your own fragrance

Treat me better only for once,

Linger with my scent’s graceful dance.

Think of me with your hand on me

Seize the moment of the clock’s free,

Dream with me till eternity.

Think of me affectionately

Your own remedy would be me.

Just think of me once faithfully.

Ultimatum

Your descendants to me whispered,

A solemn pledge that conquered

The night of devastating angers

That halted the lost strangers

Who revealed the name of danger.

You gave me a day of thinking

For menace arose of the living!

I cannot give my word of ending

Yet my eyes forbid showing, mending

I perish the sky in just a lightning

To be slaved and let the angels fly,

To be freed to let the goodness cry.

One word to finish one excruciating lie

You locked your heart with unforgivable wry

An ultimatum, to make my last goodbye.

The Tenth Letter

You heard me screaming your name,

Around midnight with the owls crying

I clenched my fist,

I sought for you, till the end.

But another sound I heard,

Shadow cast behind you like surreal,

Behind the walls you stopped,

Reached for me and cried,

You were the tenth letter of my soul,

Yes you are.

Dream

Once, I’ve departed in my wallow dream

Whispered to an angel my weak scream

Listened to the music once I’ve heard

And stared to the eyes once I’ve seen blurred.

Once, I’ve held his hand in the night,

Swaying while singing sweetness of flight,

Dancing with the leaves falling

As the warmth of his hands called one evening.

Once, I’ve kissed his lips under the moon,

Since it’s been awhile and too soon

His voice that harmonized my soul

And captivated my heart and whole.

Once, I’ve closed my eyes

I’ve seen coldness and frights

In the darkness I shivered and saw

‘checked my fist as if my claw.

Once, I’ve opened my eyes, I cried.

You and I aren’t here, we died.

Dreams were as cold as ice,

All of it is fragment of lies

Nostalgia

Still I can smell your scent

When the break of dawn reaches its end

The wild flowers sing the melody---

The rhythm we knew sang freely.

Sometimes I fly with the birds

From the firsts of light until I reach the thirds.

Sometimes I write your name in the woods

Until my finger’s crying with blood for good.

When it rains at night

The cricket’s sound lingers until I fight.

My tears drowned me little by little

While I forced myself not to think of you.

You lingered in my mind everyday,

I can see you beside me in every way.

How could I ever erase you?

If you still touch my heart like it’s true.

EXCRUCIATING AGONY

Dreadful night causes the heart to pound
Tears and growling sounds are nearly found
Painful assassination was seen on the ground.
Humans are pleading, their voices are scattered around.

Death awaits in their critical state
Minds blown away by their fearless bait
Fractures and stitches still await,
Inside their hearts there’s always infinite faith.

Guns and thunders give excruciating agony
Deep down to their soul and the entire memory.
The haunting scenery lies beneath the galaxy,
And the fatal disturbance kills all entire humanity.

Immortality rules the planet,
The chaos croaked the people with a bullet
Blood was drunk and soaked into a mallet,
Fearful night, fearful scenery awaits you inside the punishment.

BOOK LAUNCHING

After of four years of hard work in high school, pursuing my writing career in Ilocos Norte National High School- Special Program in the Arts, i have now created my OWN BOOK.


Evanescent, a moment to make a wish....
-mice

Evanescent, as we walk and run into the fire

Letting its smoke cover our whole life

Letting the heat linger into our skin,

To feel the power of the burning dream,

Until it vanishes into the thin air within.

Evanescent, as we sing a single song,

Letting it pepper all along

And our voices leave a little mark,

That will soon fade into the dark….

Evanescent as I can see the world,

With flying a flying stone like a bird

Seeing things that unravel one line,

And words are freely crawling like a vine.

Evanescent as I can see the galaxy,

Everything comes into a tragedy

When all living dies for a mere time,

It travels along ‘till it come back with chime.

Evanescent as everything has an ending

We are made to live and fade with mending.

A time will rise and the light will suppress,

All of that matters in this world’s madness.